Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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