Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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