Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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