I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
