just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
