I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
