yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
wow bdsm is so cute
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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