I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
