I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
