I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
