Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
