I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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