im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
