I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Houston, we have a squirter
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
