I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
