I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
