no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my being single is dangerous.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
