I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I had to cum in my sink.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
