Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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