Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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