sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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