this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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