He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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