What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
