He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
