weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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