this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
