Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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