They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
