best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize