broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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