I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
