i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Barsexuality is the new black.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize