Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
