your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
