Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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