WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
