I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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