are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize