do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
