I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
