she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize