Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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