hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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