My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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