she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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