Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize