so explain again why im purple
no
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
