she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
where are you?
Hypothermia
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
