Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
