K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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