If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
