just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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