Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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