She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
