im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
