That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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