I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
