Where is the hickey?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
