I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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