So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
