Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
how drunk are you?
Several
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
