I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize