therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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