I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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