are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
