If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
