If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
