So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
